What to say and how to help if someone close to you has attempted suicide
- Written by The Conversation
If someone close to you has attempted suicide, you may be feeling scared, confused or overwhelmed.
You’re not alone – the most recent data shows more than one in three Australians have been close to someone who has died by or attempted suicide.
Talking about suicide can be really hard. But your support can make a big difference. Here’s what you can do to support someone after a suicide attempt.
It’s OK not to have all the answers
The days and weeks after a suicide attempt are often full of intense emotion — for the person who attempted and those who care about them.
Your loved one might feel guilt, shame, anger, confusion or relief. They might also be tired, both physically and emotionally. Meanwhile, you might feel worried, shocked, helpless, or unsure about what to say.
All of these feelings are normal. There’s no “right” way to feel in this situation. But staying connected and offering care (even in small ways) is one of the most powerful things you can do.
How you can help: emotional support
It’s OK to acknowledge the suicide attempt – avoiding it can add to feelings of stigma or isolation. But you don’t need to ask for details, and if you feel overwhelmed it’s also OK to set gentle boundaries.
If you’re unsure what to say, you can be honest about that.
Just be there. Let your loved one know you’re there to listen, without pressure or judgement.
Don’t rush the conversation. If they’re not ready to talk, that’s OK. Let them set the pace.
Avoid guilt or blame. Saying things like “how could you do this to us?” can make someone feel worse. Instead, say something like: “I’m really glad you’re still here. I care about you.”
Reassure them. Tell them they’re not alone and that it’s OK to ask for help.
How you can help: practical support
Offer help with everyday tasks, such as going to appointments, making meals or tidying up.
Encourage (but don’t force) activities they enjoy – maybe a walk, a movie, or just hanging out quietly.
If you’re not sure what would help, ask. Try: “What would make today a bit easier for you?”
Try not to take it personally if they seem withdrawn or say “nothing will help”. They may be feeling overwhelmed.
Stay with them, if they’re open to it, or check in later with a text message. Small acts that don’t require a response, such as dropping off a meal, can go a long way.
You don’t have to do this alone
Supporting someone after a suicide attempt can be both physically and emotionally draining. You might find yourself constantly alert, watching for signs they might be struggling again. This “hypervigilance” is normal, but remember – you don’t have to do this alone.
One person is not a support network. While your care and support make a real difference, professional help is essential too, whether from a psychologist, doctor or counsellor.
It can also help to bring in other trusted people, such as siblings, parents, friends or teachers. Ask your loved one who they’d like to involve, and how.
Support works best when shared.
If you’re worried it might happen again
Mental health professionals often help create a safety plan after a suicide attempt.
This is a step-by-step guide for what to do if suicidal thoughts come back. It usually includes information such as warning signs, how to reduce immediate risks, and strategies to use in the moment.
A plan can also involve personal motivations to keep going and a list of resources, trusted people and emergency contacts.
Lifeline has a free app called Beyond Now, where a plan can be written, saved, and shared with trusted people.
If you want to – and your loved one is open to it – ask if you can be part of the plan or at least know what to do if they’re in crisis again.
Don’t forget: your wellbeing matters too
This situation can take a toll on your own wellbeing. You might feel anxious, tired, sad, or even guilty, and struggle with sleep or appetite.
It’s OK to not be OK.
Make time to look after yourself – eat well, rest, move your body and talk to people you trust. You don’t need to share private details about your loved one to get the support you need.
If it feels overwhelming, speak to a doctor or therapist. Your GP can help set up a mental health treatment plan, which helps you access subsidised counselling.
And if you ever have thoughts of suicide yourself, or you’re deeply worried about someone, reach out – help is available 24/7.
Recovery is different for everyone
Recovery after a suicide attempt doesn’t follow a set path – it’s different for everyone. It may involve professional support, medication, changes in routine, or time off from work or school. Rebuilding takes time and often comes with ups and downs.
Patience and compassion – for your loved one and yourself – can make all the difference.
Remember, you’re not alone, and there is help available.
Lifeline Australia:
Beyond Blue:
- call: 1300 22 4636
- visit their website.
Suicide Call Back Service is a free nationwide service providing 24/7 phone and online counselling to people affected by suicide:
- call: 1300 659 467
- visit their website.
13YARN is a free and confidential 24/7 national crisis support line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people who are feeling overwhelmed or having difficulty coping. Call 13 92 76. WellMob also has a list of culturally safe mental health organisations for First Nations people.
