There are reports some students are making sexual moaning noises at school. Here’s how parents and teachers can respond

There have been disturbing reports of Australian students making sexual moaning noises at teachers and other students. This includes students in both high school and primary school.

Along with making moaning noises, students might play pornographic audio in class. These behaviours can make students and adults feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, intimidated or humiliated. But it might not always be immediately obvious how it has affected those involved.

For teachers and parents, it can be hard to know what to do.

How often do teens harass other teens in Australia?

Recent findings from the Australian Child Maltreatment Study found adolescents make up a substantial proportion of perpetrators of child sexual abuse and this has increased over time.

Our soon-to-be-published results (as part of the child maltreatment study) suggest rates of peer sexual harassment are also on the rise. Although the maltreatment study did not specifically measure “moaning”, it paints a picture of how common issues like peer harassment and harmful sexual behaviour are in Australia.

Read more: One-third of childhood sexual abuse is perpetrated by another child. Shannon Molloy tells his story – and urges us not to look away

What is ‘normal’?

This kind of behaviour can sometimes be dismissed as a “joke”. But normal sexual behaviour in children and adolescents only includes behaviours that involve shared decision making and are consensual, mutual, reciprocal and enjoyable.

Sexual behaviours may become problematic when they are developmentally unusual or socially unexpected. Behaviour may be considered normal in some contexts but not others.

Sexual behaviours where there are imbalances of power, a lack of informed consent, use of force or coercion, or even violence, can be considered harmful or abusive.

Moaning at other students or teachers may be either problematic or harmful, depending on the context and circumstances.

Specifically, moaning can be considered a form of sexual harassment, which the Australian Human Rights Commission describes as: “any unwanted or unwelcome sexual behaviour” that makes someone “feel offended, humiliated or intimidated”.

How do I manage my own reactions?

As a teacher or parent you might experience a range of reactions to observing or hearing about a child moaning at their peers. Some may feel overwhelmed and distressed, while others may brush it off as “no big deal” or kids “not really knowing what they are doing”.

It is important to not overlook these behaviours. Equally, don’t normalise them with comments like “boys will be boys”. Remain calm and try not to demonise children.

So, take a big breath before you react.

What can I do?

Research shows most children and adolescents who engage in offensive, harmful or abusive sexual behaviours, will not go on to be adult sex offenders. With the right support and balanced responses we can prevent it from happening or escalating to more serious behaviours.

Regardless of if you are supporting a child or adolescent who is engaging in or experienced these behaviours, it is important for teachers and parents to:

1. take it seriously: children and adolescents benefit from adults holding them accountable for their actions while also meeting them with care and support. By finding this balance, we safeguard both the child or adolescent engaging in the behaviour, as well as those who are affected

2. understand the problem: these behaviours might happen for a range of reasons. It could be due to a lack of understanding, exposure to pornography, a desire to be accepted by peers, or experiences of abuse and adversity. Each child might need a different response

3. seek support: don’t try and deal with this on your own. Parents can ask their school counsellor or wellbeing unit for help. They can also look at wider resources around young people and sexual behaviour. If teachers are dealing with this in their classrooms, they can seek supervision and guidance from other colleagues. They should also be aware of their obligations to report to police and child protection in cases of child abuse and neglect. Training can also be helpful to learn how to cope with these kinds of behaviours

5. get specialist help: you can also contact an organisation providing specific services for children or adolescents experiencing or displaying sexualised behaviours. Bravehearts in Queensland has national information and a support line. There are also specialised sexual assault services in each state or territory

5. talk to your kids about healthy relationships: research shows comprehensive sex education works to prevent harm to children by teaching healthy relationships. This includes helping them to understand boundaries, the importance of informed consent and addressing “boys will be boys” attitudes

6. prioritise self-care: dealing with these issues can be incredibly confronting and even triggering. Look after yourself. This will help you respond calmly using the support of experts to help children and young people stop offensive, harmful or abusive sexual behaviours. This helps keep everyone safe.

Read more: Major study reveals two-thirds of people who suffer childhood maltreatment suffer more than one kind