Should I break up with my GP? 4 signs it may be time

A long-term relationship with a GP – one who knows you and your history – improves your health and even reduces your chance of dying prematurely.

This type of trusted relationship is particularly important if you have a serious or chronic (long-term) condition or multiple conditions. It is also important for trauma survivors, who should not need to retell their story over and over.

However, there are times when you may feel uncomfortable with your current GP. The first step is understanding why, then knowing what to do about it. Here are some reasons you might consider finding another one.

1. Your needs have changed

It is common to change GPs at pivotal times in your life. You may feel uncomfortable discussing your sexual health needs with the “family GP” who has known you since you were a child, or who still sees your parents.

If your family is having children, you may prefer a GP who does antenatal care, or sees a lot of children, so they can more readily empathise with your needs as a young parent. Perhaps your current GP doesn’t share your ideas about health care and parenting, or the practice isn’t particularly child friendly.

You may have appreciated your GP’s practical, straightforward and efficient consultation style for past sports injuries, but find this approach unhelpful when struggling with your mental health.

So you may look for a GP who better meets your current needs.

2. You want another GP who is expert in your illness

Good GPs can get “up to speed” on a variety of conditions, while still keeping the whole person in view. But sometimes, you will have a very specific need that leads to seeking a GP who is expert in that area. An example may be a GP who specialises in skin checks, or a GP who is expert in ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

However, you still need a generalist GP who looks at your other health-care needs. This generalist GP may well be the one who picks up early Parkinson’s disease or bowel cancer while your other GP is focused on your reproductive system or mental health.

3. You want a GP who is more aligned with your values

People differ in the type of relationship they want with their GP. You might be seeking a true partnership, where you both bring your expertise into decision making and you have the final decision. At the other end of the spectrum, you may feel more comfortable with your GP taking a more assertive role. Your needs and preferences may change over time.

Sometimes, your GP doesn’t seem to accept your views on health care. You might feel uncomfortable discussing the role of complementary medicine, or preventive health care, or your decisions to accept or reject certain treatments.

So you may seek a GP who is more aligned with your attitudes and practices.

However, GPs have their limits when it comes to accommodating your preferences. They cannot always supply your preferred medication, referral or other service, for professional, regulatory, legal or other reasons.

4. There has been a fracture of trust or confidence

Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, those mistakes are so serious you cannot go back to that doctor. However, there are errors where the relationship can be repaired.

A good GP will explain why an error happened, show how they (and the practice) will rectify the error, and what systems are now in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again. A sincere apology and equally sincere desire to make things right can strengthen a relationship and restore trust.

Sometimes you can feel unheard during a consultation, or the GP can seem distracted. The GP may sincerely apologise, and explain why. They are human, and can be unwell, exhausted by an untenable workload, or simply recovering from a particularly challenging consultation earlier in the day.

However, if there is a pattern of feeling the GP doesn’t hear you, makes frequent minor errors, or simply doesn’t seem to be providing the sort of professional service you expect, you may lose trust. If you feel uneasy or judged, you may need to step away from that GP.

How to break up with your GP

Good GPs understand a partnership with you is important. If you cannot maintain a relationship with them that is open, honest and safe, it is time to move on.

If your needs have changed, but you still value the GP for their care, you can send a thank you card and explain you have chosen to transfer to another doctor. The practice staff can forward your records to a new practice, for which there may be a small administrative fee.

If there has been a rupture in trust or confidence, and the issue is relatively minor, the practice manager will be able to advise how to make a written complaint to the practice.

If the problem is more serious, and you wish to make a formal complaint about a breach of trust that has implications for patient safety, you can report this to the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency.

If the problem is about the GP practice, you can report it to the relevant health-care ombudsman or commission in your state or territory.